First Warning

I did not know what I was thinking when I made the report. I know I could have done better than that. I made the same mistake in the past, I showed improvement and corrected my mistake. I know I should do like what he said, even before he warned me. I am disappointed at myself now. Although it's only a small mistake, I'm disappointed because I know that mistake and I know what I should do.

But I take it positively as a warning for myself to stay focus and concentrate during work. Sometimes when you know what to do, you tend to underestimate it so you lose control and make mistake like what I did. I promise myself, to be more concentrate on work and won't this stupid mistake happen to me ever again. Thanks for the reminder.

Let's get motivated again!

After more than 1 month I feel so depressed because I don't know what to do during my idle period, finally today I know the answer. Starting tomorrow, I am going to read all motivation books and self enrichment books again. I remember I have quite a lot of those collections. I think it's a very good idea because while I still have my free time, why don't I use it for better activity. It w's will not only help me to spend my time with quality, but also help me to develop myself better. It's just perfect because that what I want!

A good girl who just wants to break the rules

Once upon a time, there is a girl, she is a very good girl indeed. She is always obedient to her parents and teachers. Perfect attendance, never skip homework, always choose the right friends to hang out with, never really dating before coz she is very careful in choosing her boyfriend. In other people imagination, this girl will be a successful girl someday and live a perfect life without scar. But how in reality?

The truth is the girl does not get anything in the end. She never experience the fun that her friends had during school times like skipping class, get detention from teachers, or the experience of dating during teenage period. She always judge her friends a're still not matured yet, have childish relationship and other criticism. She always proud of herself being the 'perfect and good' one. But unfortunately, she gets nothing in the end.

Now the girl is thinking, what did she do wrong all these time? One of her friends used to tell her that she is the person who live a smooth path and straight life without cacat. But is this what she wants? Finally she realized that she needs to do something before it is too late. She hopes that there is still a chance for her to break the rules for once of her life and free herself from the isolated world.

All she needs is a courage to change herself....

Mentality Breakdown

Now I am sure that I have mentality breakdown. I am feel terribly nervous, anxious and scared all together. I am afraid what my room looks like at Shanghai, who my housemates are, can I get along with them? Are they friendly and kind enough to be friend with me. I am realized that I am not a good sociable person. How do I take care of myself there? I barely speak mandarin, so how am I going to communicate with others? Is the place dirty? How is the bathroom? What about my necessities? How if I am sick? How if I can't follow the lesson there? Will I even get a friend there? And there are soooo.........many other things that keep worrying me to death although it is still two months left before I head to Shanghai.

I know I am being stupid right now, that I feel like crying hard. I also know that I am a spoiled brat that need a lesson to be independent and this is a chance given to me. But I can't stop thinking about those stuffs. I am angry with myself why I am like this, so embarrassing if anyone ever heard this nonsense. Although I know everything will be just fine coz GOD is always there for me. Furthermore, to achieve my 2010 resolution, which is to change myself into a better person, I have to fight this mentality breakdown. This is the challenge of the year.

It depends on me, whether I want to fight it, or just give in and lose and by the end of this year, I will be the same person which means I fail. Of course I want to fight it, but it is so difficult. The only thing to relax my mind is the lesson from GOD. That he never gives me challenge more than I can take. This must be the way that God wants me to do, because he wants to help me. The GOD's way is never easy, even he himself also pass the tough road.

Finally, after writing this I can feel relax a bit. I wish I can be an easy going person and always be happy. But that won't be easy. However, it doesn't mean I can't, right?

I am going to Shanghai!

I still can't believe it until now. It is like a dream to me when out of the blue my Dad offered me a chance to study Mandarin to Shanghai. It's been my dream since few years back actually, but I never thought it will become reality in a short period. I am so happy, so for this last two months in KL before going there, I will make use of this time for my preparation. Today, I spent more than RM 200 just to buy Oxford dictionary (Chinese-English, English-Chinese), Shanghai City Guide (Lonely Planet) and a package of mandarin phrasebook complete with the CD (Lonely Planet) for my practice.

The things I would like to achieve during 1 year in Shanghai :
1. Speak, write and listen Mandarin fluently
2. Be more matured and independent
3. Be more socialize and make new friends
4. Get boyfriend (if GOD allows). Hehehe

This trip is also part of my new year resolution. This year, I want to be a different person, better of course. I don't want to think too much and get stressed. I will just relax, enjoy my life, and plan my future. Moreover, I also want to be more flexible and get out of my comfort zone to take the challenge in front of me. The trip to Shanghai is the best step for me to get out of my comfort zone since I will be all alone there, not knowing how to converse properly and have no idea about living there.

But I believe, it is also part of GOD's plan for me. If GOD sets this plan for me and he wants me to do it, I will do it. I felt nervous and scared at the beginning. I felt not confident of my ability. Luckily GOD shows me the way and I am sure I will go there and I won't be alone. Coz he will be with me all the time, guide me and protect me. Hopefully I can pass this year and make use of this year successfully.

My Unforgettable Experience

2 pengalaman memalukan gua seumur hidup selama hampir 22 tahun :

1. Pernah suatu hari gua ke kantor gak mandi gara2 pagi-pagi pas mo sikat gigi, masuk kamar mandi, tiba2 liat kecoak jumbo nangkring deket washtafel. DEG! Jantung gua uda mo copot, kaki langsung lemes. Sempet liat2an bentar sama makhluk item jelek bau, idup lagi dengan kumisnya yg panjang goyang2. Hiiyyy...Gak kebayang deh. Biar waktu itu gua gak pake kacamata, tapi sensor gua kalo uda ketemu kecoak mah paling sensitif. Pengen bangunin orang rumah buat ngusir tu kecoak, tapi masih pada tidur pules sampe ileran..gak enak banguninnya. Uda jam 7 lewat, gua hampir telat ketinggalan bus. Tapi gua masih duduk2 di sofa dilemma, mo sikat gigi gak bisa, apalagi mandi. Tapi masa ke kantor gak sikat gigi...Bau jigong ntar.. Gua tungguin bentar lagi, sapa tau ada yg keluar kamar gt..akhirnya setelah mikir 15 menit dan gak ada yg keluar, tiba2 gua dapet ide. Untungnya gua masih punya sikat gigi dan odol baru. Gua buka aja stock baru itu, gua sikat gigi deh di dapur. Hehehee...lumayan..otak gua encer juga pagi2. Sampe gak ngantuk lagi gua, ni mata melek gara2 liat makhluk bego sialan itu. Alhasil gua gak jadi mandi, tapi pake lotion aja biar wangi2 gitu..Sampe kantor juga gak ada yang comment bau2 aneh. Jadi aman deh rahasia gua. Hohoho. Trus nasib si makhluk busuk itu?? Siangnya gua sms adek gw, kasih tau kalo td pagi ada kecoak gede di kamar mandi. Trus dibales, katanya uda digebuk and dibejek sama ii gua pake sendal. Muahuahuahauhauhauahua. Senengnya hatiiiku...tertawa kemenangan.

2. Nah, kalo kejadian yang ini sih namanya musibah buat gua. Ceritanya gua kan sama temen2 kantor suka ngasih julukan buat si boss sama temen2nya yang suka dateng ke kantor. Ada 1 temennya orangnya gendut tinggi gede. Kita julukin fatty crab. Trus, ada lagi 1 orang co badannya agak kecil dan agak kurus, selalu sama2 si fatty crab itu, kita panggil the small guy. Saking seringnya kita gosipin mereka pake nama2 itu (supaya gak ketahuan), sampe2 gua sempet lupa nama aslinya. Hahahah. Pas Jumat kemaren gua lagi ada discussion sama boss, trus si boss tunjukin facebooknya si small guy itu. Spontan dengan bodoh, lantang dan PD nya gua ngomong: "Oh..that's the small guy who always come with fatty crab right?". Then...pause for 5 seconds. Langsung gua mendadak tutup mulut gua, dalem hati ngomong "Oh SHIT!" Gak lama, si boss tanya dengan muka blur nya. hah? Fatty crab? U call people fatty crab ah? Later if he heard that...hahaha. Ketawa kecil. Duh, mampus, mending muka gua, gua tutupin pake ember aja deh, nyebur ke kolam renang, ato injek tai anjing. Sumpah malunya setengah mati. Untung dia gak marah. Tapi tetep aja....OH SHIT! Dengan adanya kejadian kayak gini, peringatan buat gua, supaya jangan suka gosipin orang di kantor. Inilah akibatnya klo suka gosip terus kerjaannya. Kualat deh gua...So sorry fatty crab! Eh salah...Sorry Lo (nama sebenernya si fatty crab)....heheheh. Jadi yah..klo ntar2 uda ga stock donut ato curry puff ato coffee ya at least I know the reason.. :p

Tips for exam

Menjelang exam, gw agak nervous dan deg2 an, takut juga sih. Sambil belajar dan baca2, gw terus mikirin, strategi apa yang bisa bikin gw bljr lebih efficient. Sambil merenung, gw inget2 jaman gw dulu sekolah dan kuliah di Jakarta, mana pernah yang namanya belajar nyicil. Selalu belajar last minute. Kalaupun nyicil, itupun paling 2-3 hari sebelumnya. Sejak di KL aja gw jadi parno sendiri, belajar dari sebulan sebelumnya. Mungkin karena bahannya emang lebih banyak, pelajarannya lebih susah kali ya. Tapi hasilnya? Sama aja tuh dibandingin temen2 gw yang cuma belajar semalem. Gw jadi inget lagi, dulu gw selalu bangga sama diri gw sendiri. Gw yang cuma belajar last minute bisa nilainya sama, bahkan lebih bagus dari temen gw yang belajarnya nyicil. Tapi sekarang...kok malah terbalik ya, gw yang belajarnya nyicil?

Nah, dari situlah gw plan mau ubah strategy belajar gw. Gw gak mau yang namanya parno2an lagi. Nyantai aja belajarnya, yang penting gw bener2 manfaatin waktu luang gw buat belajar sebisa gw. Kalo ada yang gak bisa masuk otak, ya biarin aja deh, emang gak bisa. Daripada maksa juga percuma. Sambil belajar, baca2, gw berhasil nemuin beberapa tips buat belajar exam ala Sandra.

1. Understand, get the overview, not to memorize
Otak kita itu kan terbatas, gak mungkin dong kita hapalin semua materi dari 4 subject itu ke dalem otak kita. Yang ada ntar malah jadi gila. Yang gw lakukan adalah gw berusaha mengerti dan dapetin intisarinya, langsung to the point aja, gak usah basa basi. Ntar penjelasannya baru pake kata2 sendiri. Untuk hapalan, emang ada sih beberapa hal yang perlu dihapalin, tapi kita harus selektif buat milih mana yang emang harus dihapalin, mana yang gak perlu. Jadi kapasitas otak kita masih ada tempat buat yang laen.

2. Relate to daily and real life
Kalo yang ini sih cuma berlaku buat pelajaran hapalan kayak marketing, bukan itung2an. Menurut gw, subject marketing, management dan hapalan yang laennya itu sebenernya cuma common sense. Emang ada teorinya, tapi semuanya bisa dihubungin ke kehidupan kita sehari2. Karna kehidupan sehari2 itu kita alamin sendiri, pastinya kita jadi lebih gampang ngerti dan inget kan.

3. Think outside the box
Nah, kalo ini maksudnya kita hubungin 1 hal ke hal2 yang laen, yang juga berkaitan dengan hal itu. Contohnya: ada pertanyaan tentang market segmentation, kita bikin dulu ringkasannya semua yang berhubungan sama market segmentation sampe sedetail2nya, baru deh dijelasin. Jadi jawabnya jangan cuma artinya doang ato sebagian aja, tapi jelasin semua yang berhubungan dengan itu. Tapi semua itu tergantung soal, kebanyakan jelasin juga nanti jadi gak relevant lagi, percuma.

4. Jangan pernah anggep belajar itu cuma buat dapet nilai exam yang bagus, tapi anggep buat kita dapet ilmu dan karena kita pengen tau.
Anggep aja seperti baca novel (kalo yang suka baca). Kita baca novel karena kita pengen tau ceritanya kan, makannya pas uda abis baca, kita tau inti ceritanya, bisa ceritain lagi ke orang. Nah, sama juga kayak belajar. Baca bukunya karena kita pengen dapet ilmu, dengan sendirinya kita jadi lebih gampang ngerti kok, karena kita jadi gak ada beban. Intinya sih, ubah cara pandang kita. Emang sih banyak orang yang gak bisa ngelakuin ini karena emang gak suka dan gak bisa. Tapi kalo kita ubah cara berpikir dan sudut pandang kita, gak ada yang gak bisa kok.

5. Last but not least, do your best, give the rest to GOD
Apa yang bisa kita lakukan dan usahakan, kita lakukan yang terbaik sepenuh hati, sepenuh tenaga, tentunya diimbangin dengan jiwa, batin dan rohati kita. Menjelang exam, kita cuma bisa belajar segiat2nya. Masalah nanti di ruang ujian soalnya kayak gimana, nilainya berapa, itu uda di luar kendali kita, serahin sama Tuhan. Belajar dan berdoa, kombinasi yang paling pas. Jangan lupa minta bimbingan Tuhan supaya belajarnya lebih lancar dan diberi petunjuk.

Mudah2an catetan ini bisa berguna buat siapa pun yang baca, gak terkecuali diri gw sendiri. Soalnya gw sendiri suka down dan stress kalo lagi gak bisa belajar..